Saturday, November 9, 2024
Washington D.C.

After the stunning presidential election win by convicted felon and sex offender Donald Trump, a local bag of rocks was reportedly outraged after having been compared to the intelligence of the American voter.

“Look, I ain’t the smartest tool in the shed, and I don’t have a college edumacation, but I sure as hell ain’t THAT dumb!” the bag of rocks is quoted as saying. “I mean, who in their right mind would vote for this guy? Do they really believe all of the crap he’s been telling them [the voters]?” said the bag of rocks, referring to the shenanigans, endless stream of lies, conspiracy theories and sewage being spewed by the GOP presidential nominee during his campaign.

The bag of rocks has hinted at possibly running for public office in the next Florida primary election in 2026. “Hell, if he [Trump] can do it, I bet I can give what’s-his-name [Ron DeSantis] a run for his money.”